Have you ever unintentionally hurt someone before? Hurt their feelings by unknowingly saying something that you meant no harm by but was taken in a totally different manner? That's what happened to me.
Let me back up a little. Have you ever Text, IM or emailed and the words taken the wrong way? Written words are forever. You can not recall them. Can not erase them. Can not deny them. But most importantly, you can not tell a persons intentions via the Internet. You can not tell the tone of voice it is implied, the facial expressions being used, the LOL or OMG of it.
What was said was meant harmless by me, but read differently by another person. So who is really to blame? And why do I feel so bad? When I didn't mean it that way.
That person gave me a piece of their mind about it, and although I rebutted, I have not heard back from this person. Thus I feel even worse. I try to equate it to age difference. Young and inexperienced in Life lessons, to perhaps my more mature frame of mind??? But when it comes down to it, someone was hurt by what I said. And I feel terrible. Not because I am guilty of malicious doing, but because it affected this person greatly and I have now come to the conclusion that some things or some areas of topics should never be discussed.
Today I put myself in this person's shoes. I reflected a lot. And I suppose, being where this person is, feeling about life like this person is, that I probably would have taken it the same way. In fact, I probably would have stewed and been pissed. But I also know I would never have said anything to that person. So it is admirable for this person to confront me so we can clear the air and move on.
But it doesn't make me feel any better. Some lessons need to be learned the hard way. And even at my age, there are still many lessons to live and learn.
*sigh*
XOXO
Sunday, January 31, 2010
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2 comments:
Oh dear what happened? I think we all do this. I know we are both sarcastic and I sometimes need to remember there is a time and place for it and other times to be nice and just give XOXO's. IF they don't write back they are not worth your time Cin.
How does that old saying go....? Something about you can act with the best of intentions, but it matters not if the interpretation is not the same. You get the drift.
All you can do is explain and listen to theirs, and find some way to reach common ground.
That does come with age to an extent, I agree. I did this to a friend a few years ago and although we were drifting anyhow, it hurt me when she finally cut ties based on something I'd said and interpreted differently than how I'd intended.
You'll be okay...and so will your friend. Hopefully you'll find that common ground. :)
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